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In the beginning… February 18, 2010

Posted by Phil Groom in Short Story, Theological Reflection.
Tags: , , , , ,

PeanutIn the beginning was the peanut, and the peanut was alone.

“I need a warm planet to grow on,” said the peanut. “Let there be a planet!” And there was a planet. The peanut looked and the planet was good.

As the peanut looked at the planet, it realised that peanut and planet were spelt with almost the same letters. The only difference was a U instead of an L. So the peanut took an L from the planet and a U from itself and created a lettuce. And the peanut looked at the lettuce and was pleased: it was very good.

LettuceAt first the lettuce was happy and it grew in the peanut’s garden. But one day, as the peanut was walking around the garden, the lettuce became angry and attacked the peanut and beat it into a mess of peanut butter.

But the lettuce didn’t know that this was what the peanut had in mind all along because without a lettuce to mash it up, there would never have been any peanut butter. And without any peanut butter the bread would have been naked and it would have been ashamed, except maybe for a bit of jam that the peanut made for it when it realised it was naked.

And so it came to pass that the peanut and the lettuce were reconciled but could still never quite bring themselves to share the same sandwich, especially not with the jam. Which is why the Church of England is in such a mess and women are not allowed to be Bishops.


1. David Marriott - February 18, 2010

Oh, Phil. You bring a smile to my face this cold, rainy Thursday morning. May God bless your insanity and may it bring much joy to you and those around you.

2. Elizabeth - February 18, 2010

I feel blessed to have been part of this story’s development, encouraging you to blog it. You are wonderful!

3. Phil Groom - February 18, 2010

Well thank y’ both. ‘Tis an awesome privilege to be a sauce of merriment poured out over the heavenly banquet. Or blanket, as the case may be. Can I get a special guider’s badge for this, please?

Margaret - February 18, 2010

Your blogs are anything but boring Phil – have you thought about writing a book? I’ll buy a copy!

Phil Groom - February 18, 2010

Buy a copy? For that observation, you’ll receive a signed copy with my compliments — and I’ll come over to your place for an author signing event! Form an orderly queue now, please, ladies and gentlemen!

OK, jury’s out now: any suggestions on who I should get to write a foreword? I was thinking +Rowan might be erudite enough…

4. Candanista - February 19, 2010

Phil I think you need a good PR person. My terms are very reasonable. Clem would write you a foreword and I’ll check it to make sure he writes in proper sentences. Gotta run now before Clem catches me…. Cx

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